A Secret Admiration
by The Sharpened Edge
Summary: “Riku and I have always been best friends… Though lately… He seems rather protective of me…” AU / Lemon Warning for later chapters.


_**Title: A Hidden Admiration.  
Author:**__Fairly Nostalgic__**  
Disclaimer:**__I do not own Kingdom Hearts in any way or forum, I'm just simply barrowing their characters/ ideas to make a story for your entertainment. :]__**  
Pairings:**__Riku x Sora__**  
Rating:**__M__**  
Warnings:**__Angst,Hard core yaoi when it comes along._

**Summary:**

**Author's Note:**I've always wanted to write a Riku x Sora fan-fiction, and now I'm finally pulling time aside to do so. I hope you enjoy it, and when you're done reading, please review.

"C'mon Sora! Get up, is that all you've got?"

I could feel the sweltering pain ushering through every blood vessel in my tanned, cherubic face as the arctic water's cascaded against the enduring warmth of my battered and bruised body. Too many times had I heard that cocky tone of superiority pronounce that series of poorly articulated verbiage in triumph, when I found myself drenched to the bone, sprawled across the floor of the vastly open, glimmering ocean. Dully my narrowed optics fluttered to a slight consciousness, scanning the vibrant azure hues the sun gloriously cast upon the water's smoldering surface. Everything seemed blurred and erratically colored in my dazed state until the brightness dulled to a minimum as I drew in a shallow and rather shuttered breath. My ears seemed to ring with a sense of uncertainty and agonizing pain as I shifted quietly against the lapping water's comfort, pressing my leather clad palms into the water engrossed sand. Registering the slushy feeling at the ends of my appendages, I sighed pulling my strength to my thoracic cavity, only for my shoulders to shake with a great deal of severity as I rose calmly, only to gaze upon Riku's lavishly smug smirk. My oculars widened as his muscular form sauntering closer, the wooden sword he'd had since he was younger clenched tightly in his fist before he offered me his other hand, the shimmering illumination from the sun making his black leather glove glimmer in a near blinding fashion.

Studying his expression, and his stern emerald hues questioningly, I carefully extended my hand to his before he withdrew it, lightly tapping the edge of his wooden sword against my head swiftly. "Ow!" I exclaimed, quickly bring my hands back to shield my head from any further assaults. "What's the big idea of offering someone help and then smacking them? Huh Riku?" The irritation was so excessive in my voice it was bordering annoying. Rubbing my fingers across the new aching pain, I saw him lean over, only to tussle my moisten head of chestnut colored spikes.

"You still haven't come to grasp the term 'fake-out' have you?" Riku chuckled, crossing his colossal arms against his gracefully sculpted chest. I watched in frustration as his fingers delicately tattered themselves across his porcelain complexion, before he shook his head so disapprovingly, the glistening wave of brightened silver clinging to his every moment in perfect unison. There were times I felt so insignificant in his mass perfection, and honestly I couldn't help but hold a secret admiration for him in my slight jealousy. Scrambling to my feet, I watched him loop the childishly crafted sword to the ebony and ivory loops of his royal blue waiters nonchalantly, as I found the nerve to raise my delicate gaze to his hard and seemingly distant one. He'd grown so drastically in the years we'd known each other; becoming vastly matured by time's generous gracings, it only allowed people to see my flaws when I stood beside him even more. Pursing my lips into a slanderous pout, I arched downward, extending my phalanges to grasp the hilt of my splintering sword, before I shook my head, offering the other one of my endless smiles once more.

"I guess not." I chided out thoughtfully, as I took the time to chuckle at myself. I hated losing to Riku, even if it was just a friendly competition; it still rubbed me the wrong way how he could make my every efforts look so faltered and useless, but he was my friend and I never let my losses coax me into drifting from his company. I gingerly tucked the poorly made sparing sword on the inside of my belt before I approached the elder, easing my hand to pat his shoulder playfully before I stood on my tip toes to ruffle his silver locks across his porcelain skin. He began to chuckle, though his hands rushed against my chest, trying to ease me from his mass perfection before I defiled it much more. "Take that!" I manage to muster in my maniacally laughter. He gave a rather disgruntled growl, uttering something foul beneath his breath, as the pressure he used to push me away became more apparent. I nearly feel as he shoved me, sending the water beneath my feet fluttering against him carelessly, before I found myself staring at the other wide eyed. His lavish lips were spread in a malice smirk that could have been greatly intimidating if I didn't know what was coming next.

"SORA!" The roared mentioning of my name made me wince as I drew my arms before myself to shield the attack I knew that was coming next now. I clenched my eyes tightly shut, hoping the precipitation beneath me would offer some sort of comfort in my fall. The air rushed from my chest as he slammed into me, taking me down to the ground with a slight struggle before I felt the attack upon my spiky hair began. "How do you like THAT?" Riku called out running his fingers raggedly through the various sections of my now darkened hair. I couldn't answer; the pressure he put on my body straddling my hips made me wheeze out for oxygen as though I was a fish taken out of it's tank. His fingers trickled down my sides, making me squirm and laugh more profusely. My eyes cracked open hesitantly, fighting the urge to instantly clutter closed again before I noticed how his hair had been transformed by my playful gesture. I couldn't help but laugh more, arching against his body awkwardly as everything stopped. My breathing was unstable, causing me to wheeze out in pain before I heard his silently breaths mimicking mine. I paused, feeling the wetness of my hair latched to the sides of my face before my azure hues opened to be parallel with his green stallion green ones.

"R-riku…" I gasped. His face was hard and focused; his eyes cutting into my pools of deep blue before he smirked and shook his head.

"You're so predictable…" He breathed softly, causing me to shutter in suspense to what he was doing. Riku never been one for such contact; in fact on various occasions he'd practically lower my IQ lower than it already was over simple friendly gestures, but lately something in him seemed so different and almost…protective of me. "Do you know why…" He began softly, "I came over so early today to get you?"

I shook my head curiously before Riku gave a disapproving look. "Just to spar?" I questioned shrugging my shoulders vaguely beneath him. He shook his head, offering a hesitant smile to me before I felt his hand rise, and gently cup the side of his face. I froze, feeling the gentle leather coating his thumb ebb carefully across my cheek. It's touch became more tender as his pressed his nose to mine coyly. His eyes were so fixated upon me as I looked into them for an answer, unwilling to relent to show me his always hidden thoughts and emotions. He was always so hard to read, and now, nothing made sense as to why he was acting the way he did. "R-Riku…" I pleaded softly, turning my head so my eyes would not rest upon his. I felt his hand tighten at the side of my face as my staggered breath pulled from my lungs. "I…I don't know, what you're getting at…" I mused weakly. I couldn't come to comprehend anything at this moment in time.

"I can't explain this to you…" I heard him answer lowly as he readjusted himself over me. My body sunk deeper into the pit of sand as he arched over me more, still tenderly stroking the side of my face before I saw something in his emerald hues glimmer. Curiously I anchored my head back to gaze more cluelessly at him as I did before. He closed his eyes tightly, before I felt his warm breath dancing at the nape of my cool neck. I shivered, before I felt a warmth engulf me almost instantly that I was unfamiliar with in the very least. My eyelids fluttered uncontrollably, collapsing daintily only to restrict my blurring sight as the pressure of Riku's lips washing over mine became more apparent. I lied there, dazed, and numbed by the new found feeling of being paralyzed beneath the older teen in pure intoxication. His lips meshed against mine tenderly, working over the irrespirable voluptuous wake before I nervously lowered my head back into the blistering water below, parting from the other male only to hear his rushed breath against mine. Tentatively my oculars lured opened, rushing the sight of Riku's wholesome face into focus before I opened my mouth carefully to speak, only to feel his lips cup more lovingly over mine once again. Shocked by the repetition in his actions, I closed my eyes, struggling beneath his weight and his hungry lips before I rose a hand, gripping it tightly before I struck him. The echo rang out hauntingly, cracking loud enough to disturb the seagulls arching themselves at the dock near our boats before I noticed Riku carefully lift a hand and tread it carefully across the crimson mark I'd streaked across his beautiful pale skin.

The sweltering pain in my left hand made me wince out in pain before I caught sight of his face, giving a small gasp as he turned away from me, his deep stern eyes revealing an endless look of hurt I'd never seen in him before. My lips quivered distraughtly as I tried to find my voice to even question the situation, but my heart ached impassively in confusion. My best friend… He just… kissed me…? My body fell limp in the water, my hand still frozen in it's clenched state from where Riku had turned away from it's inflicted pain as I tried to sort through the relentless possibilities in my head. "R-Ri-Riku… I—"

"Don't even bother Sora." He shot back in a melancholy toned I'd never heard from him before.

I shook my head as he lifted himself from above me, as I sat up quickly, grasping firmly for him hand as he gasped and shook his head. "I don't understand!" I pleaded slipping my fingers between his roughly before he pulled his hand away from mine, slapping it away harshly. "Why did you—"

"I figured you wouldn't understand…" He growled, "Even if I did waste my breath to explain it to you."

My eyes stung with the sweltering relief of hot tears, before I reached for him again, only to watch his wondrous figure dash away from me. The cascading waves of water that spattered in the water as he ran made my tears run more lucidly as they forcefully pelted my sun burnt face, stinging the irritated skin as I shifted, stumbling to my feet only to pursue Riku as he ran from me. My lungs contracted painfully as I gasped and wheezed for air in desperation; my legs reeling as furiously as they could in my attempt to catch the silver haired teen. The salt engrossed precipitation sloshed vigorously beneath my rushed footsteps, clashing and covering my legs, cutting like glass before I approached the dock where Riku had leapt upon, untying his boat haphazardly before he leapt into it, beginning to row the waters as powerfully as his broad arms would allow him. "WAIT! PLEASE WAIT RIKU!" I cried as I continued to force myself to run. I was so far behind him it was unless to continue at the pace I was whizzing across the sands at, but I struggled, my pants becoming more loud and labored before I leapt for the dock, too lazy to climb the stairs before I came crashing down. My ankle caught a loose piece of wood, slamming me into the holey deck floor as I gave a deep cry, reaching out my hand for Riku helplessly as he continued to row away, his emerald hues watching me through the shimmering tears that cascaded down his angelic face unceasingly.

I couldn't help but reminisce over what had happened earlier in the day. Each time I looked toward the island from my bedroom window, my heart pounded painfully, sinking in my chest with excessive guilt and frustration. The pain that ravaged my cardiac muscle made me sick to my stomach, giving wake to such intense nausea I felt as though blinking was going to cause an expulsion of my dinner. I clenched a fist, leaning against the barrack of pillows I had created behind me, my red tinged face never turned from the window's welcoming sights as I sighed deeply. I couldn't understand what had caused Riku to…kiss me… But somehow I felt as though it was something that I desired but never gave much thought to. It felt so right when his lips locked against mine; the moisture and hot breaths that elapsed his lips engulfing mine, pressing to my innocent and inexperienced lips so lovingly and tenderly… I shook my head, shuttering at the thought. Strangely it made my skin prickle, sending and unfamiliar shiver throughout my body that felt awkwardly pleasant. "Why…?" I questioned myself, glancing down to my clenched hand shaking my head. Riku had been my only friend on the island since I was born. Though we were polar opposites we worked wonderfully together, even when we were children. He was the only one I went to school with I hung out with, the only one that spent the night over at my house almost every day consecutively, and shared my secrets and childish dreams… They were all safe with him as his were with me…

Maybe I'd been naïve not to notice his feelings… He was only with me, even after Kairi had come to the islands, he'd shown no interest in her; he only had his emerald hues locked upon me, even if I did aggravate him to oblivion and back as he told me when I annoyed him every now and then, but even then… Even then he still showed that beautifully enticing smile to me, chuckling at me playfully, and giving me all of his attention… I closed my eyes tightly, finding that the more I thought about it, things had been more obvious then, and not as allusive as I thought, but maybe… I was the same way as he was, just not as courageous to try and express it as he had today. I love Riku greatly as a friend… And maybe all of those innocent years when we were younger and shared a bed together, when we clung to each other in our sleep and took baths together as many younger boys did, we secretly longed for each other unconsciously. I… I liked Riku, more than I wanted to admit, but I started to deny myself those feelings as he grew older and more distant, because I had always thought about what would happen if I… I had tried to kiss him and usher him into being mine. I feared him rejecting my love, and calling me sick for even being honest with myself about loving him and being…gay, but… I stopped myself instantly before I continued that thought feeling the saber of guilt piece my heart. T-that was what I was doing… to Riku now…

I quickly sat up, slamming my feet into the floor before I struggled to shove my feet into my yellow shoes. I panicked, knotting my shoe laces haphazardly before I dashed for my bedroom door, slamming my fist accidentally against the door before I opened it, crushing my hand against the cold silver steel of the knob before I twisted it opened, and casted it behind myself to hear the doors awfully loud retort as I raced down the stairs messing a few steps as I went stumbling. I rolled nearly half way down the stairs before I had caught the rail, moaning in pain as I heard my mother from the kitchen yell for me, the concern of my well-being apparent in her heavenly voice.

"Sora! Sora honey! Are you alright?" She exclaimed running from the hall in her apron still.

I glanced up at her, forcing myself to open my clenched eyes before I smiled and nodded carefully. "Yeah mom," I answered plainly, pulling a gloved hand behind my head to rub the sore spots awkwardly, "I just fell down the stairs again… You know how I am." I laughed at myself to reassure her I was okay before she sighed and crossed her arms, offering me a kind smile.

"Just be careful So-Chan…" She cooed, pacing over to kneel beside me. Offering me her hand I took it graciously, pulling myself up as she continued, "I take it you're heading over to Riku's tonight with the rush you're in?" I nodded heavily before she patted my back and let go of me. "Have fun then sweetie." She said kissing my cheek softly.

"I will mom." I replied to her in a loving tone as I smiled, "I love you, and I'll be home in a few days." She nodded as I reached the front door, pushing it open only to slam it on my way out. I broke out into in instant run, despite how bad I had hurt myself falling down those rough stairs. I was accident prone, and It was getting to the point where I couldn't even walk and chew gum without gagging on it, or getting it stuck in my hair. As I glanced to the sky, the sun was setting, casting deep purples and oranges and pinks into the clouds that surround the sun as it set into the waters of the ocean. I marveled at it as I continued to run towards Riku's house, turning a street corner to quickly and almost slamming my head into a light pole klutzily. I swerved at the last minute, retracting my gaze from the glorious pastel work at the sky as I panted heavily. Riku's house was only a few more blocks away, but with the weight in my chest I felt as thought it was almost another world away. My vibrant azure eyes traced the many brightly colored homes along the beached shores before I came across his, and his mother's quietly. The deeply painted blue two story was so homely and well maintained with the bushes of roses and the white picket fence the lined the front yard, I couldn't help but smile seeing it against the dreamy sunset. It was almost like a scene from a romance novel with the way it welcomed you with it's dainty features and charming elegance, but I chose to ignore it as I began to slow down, reaching for the white gates lock to push it open. I leaned against the fence, coughing for a few minutes as I struggled to catch my breath, my throat burning with the intensity of fire before I straightened up and wiped the sweat from my forehead and chestnut bangs. "Here I go…" I murmured softly to myself under my breath.

I delicately pushed the gate open, closing it behind me to listen to the small metallic click before I walked across the sandy pathway to the iron guard door. The intricate patterns painted across it made me smile nervously as I remembered the reason why I had rushed over here. To apologize for early, and how poorly I'd react to something…so sweet… I felt guilty all over again as I reached out the still sore hand I'd struck Riku with early to knock on the door softly. I hesitated after the knock, wondering what I could do exactly to make the older teen feel better. I'd never… seen Riku cry before, and being the reason for it, hurt more than any wound I could ever suffer. When the door swung open, I smiled as Riku's mom glanced over me, seeing her long and beautiful silver hair pulled back in a braid as she greeted me.

"Sora!" She exclaimed happy to see me. I smiled and beamed as she reached out to ruffle my hair softly. "I'm glad you could make it over here tonight. I've already made dinner, so if you'd like any of the leftovers help yourself." She stepped back as I nodded stepping pass her into their home. It was cool, and smelt of homemade pizza and cookies. My mouth watered as I fought off the urge to eat more and glance toward the stairs humbly.

"That's okay." I answered giving her an honest grin, "I ate before I came over, is Riku in his room?" I asked curiously. She nodded closing the door behind me as I began to ascend the stairs quietly.

"He went right up there after dinner… He seems to be in one of his moods, but I think your being here will make him better. You are his best friend after all."

I smiled and nodded as she said this, feeling immensely guilty. _Yeah, the best friend who put him into his depressed mood._ I thought bitterly to myself, as I reached the top of the stairwell. I trudged across the dark wooden floors quietly, taking a left down deep into the hall before I found Riku's room. Sighing deeply, I closed my eyes, lifting a hand to open the door carefully, only to be basked in the light of the setting sun, and see Riku's soft features gazing into the blinding light calmly. I winced, narrowing my eyes, as I stepped forward blindly, closing the door quietly behind me as I approached him, sitting on the edge of his bed with him before he spoke.

"The sunset… it seems darker than usual…" He murmured softly. I gave him a questioning look as I saw his arm wrapped tightly across his chest as he continued to look out the window, his eyes sparkling with the illumination cast from the sea.

"It does…?" I questioned arching an eyebrow carefully, now looking at the darkening sky with more intensity and concentration. He nodded discretely, before pulling his gaze from the sight, locking his eyes upon me now. I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment as I lowered my eyes carefully. "H-How can you tell…?" I questioned again, trying to keep his questions about the sky intact, rather than me being in his room.

"Because my _**Sora**_, my _**Sky**_ is not smiling…" He replied softly, reaching across the bed to place his hand softly at the side of my face.

My blush darkened almost instantly at his comment, and the soft touch that caressed the side of my cheek so delicately. I drew in a deep breath as he smiled at me, sitting up only to draw his face closer to mine.

"Sora…" He whispered softly, "Why… Why did you come here…?" He questioned softly, closing his eyes to hide the clear hurt I could see in them from me.

I sighed deeply, nervously drawing a hand from my side to place at the opposite side of his face that he was holding for me, letting my fingers carefully brush over his perfect skin. "I… I wanted to apologize Riku…" I whispered breathlessly, watching as his piercing eyes opened and lock onto me. "And… I… I really wanted to t-talk to you…"

He nodded against my hand, nuzzling it softly before his lavish lips parted. "Well… I'm listening to you Sora…" He breathed gently, as I noticed a small wince he gave as my hand crossed a certain portion of his cheek. I frowned at his reaction, placing my hand at the side of his neck before I saw the bruise that had been concealed by his silken hair.

"D-did I do that…?" I question in a horrified tone. I saw him nod slowly, before he used his free hand to clench over mine quietly, his stern eyes examining me contently.

"Don't worry about it…" He answered, his voice was more mellow and dark than I'd ever heard it before. It made me shutter as he scooted closer to me, pressing his legs against mine, before I felt his nose press against mine once more. Brushing away the nervousness I felt in my stomach, and the fluttery feel in my sides I closed my eyes, trying to decide how I wanted to start out this awkward conversation in my head.

"I'm… so sorry I reacted… the way I did…" The silence between us made me shiver comprehensively before I forced myself to continue. "I had… n-no right to hit you…" I began again, "I was just… so shocked that you… you… ki—"

"That I kissed you?" Riku questioned, not skipping a beat. I nodded nervously, feeling the gentle texture of his nose against mine, his hot breath tickling my face as I shuttered, hesitantly nodding.

"I… I was just r-really… surprised." I murmured softly, catching a glimpse of his stern emerald hues upon me, "And… I'm just a little confused as to why—" He placed a finger across my lips to mute my soft angelic tone before a small smirk spread across his porcelain features. Tilting my head curiously, though he still held the single digit across his lavish lips, a nearly inaudible chuckle escaped the depths of his mouth, his gentle breath coaxing me into my slight intoxication again.

"I did it… because I love you… Sora." He answered pulling me into his embrace gingerly. "And I'll do it again just to prove it to you… Even if you'll hate me for it…"

His lips overtook mine once again, calmly meshing against the silken texture before my eyes lulled shut against my will. In the warmth of the darkness, I felt his strong arms curl around my, stroking my back as though to sooth me into a bliss I'd never return from. My mind was hazed entirely, I couldn't begin to even comprehend what I had wanted to tell him, before I pressed my lips back against his, slithering my arms hesitantly about his strong and godly frame.


End file.
